New year...

It's the end of the year. All the statuses in Facebook and tweets in tweeter is about new year. Another end. Another new beginning. Now now what have you archive this year? Well, in my case, I finished my microbiology exam before new year, I m going back home for new year, I try harder to fulfill what I promised, I ... Dunno.. Can't really remember. Hahahahaha.. Too many happy n sad stuff happened this year. To put in conclusion, I'm glad that every moments that I've been through had gimme memories that are unforgettable n beautiful too. :) happy new year...

Moving to a better place

It's time to move. I've been wondering around the same point for these years. It's time to move. I dunno how would it be, and how things are, but life is a journey to explore what's happening. :)

Irony

It's funny sometimes when u r so happy sending postcards n letters to a friend n hoping them to receive it. And yet, after that u found out the person is moving out from the place. Irony. But this just shows that how funny fate is. It's ok, maybe things are meant to be that way, yet I cant help myself from feeling the disappointment that I m having now.
I feel like laughing out loud and at the same time crying out loud too. "No big-ie Karen, its just a funny way of life."
BUT why, why m I still holding on the most ridiculous feeling of mine?? Why m I so stubborn? Why can't I just of it casually? Why and what on earth is going wrong with me? My head keeps telling me, "it's not a big deal dear, u are perfectly fine and it wouldn't hurt to let it go." and there I was, believing I can. But my heart keeps giving me the sign of aching. It's very easy when the heart listens to the head.
Ok, now now. I need distractions. Study. Study. Study. For my clinical medicine. It will be better from time to time. The head with the lil genius in it will find a solution to paralyze the stupid heart. Lol.

Waiting

Another day waiting for our dear surgeon to come n pick us up for class., but they are very busy... So we Waited n wait.. Wait wait wait.. That's where our patients grow... Hahahaha...just sit there and WAIT !!!!! What a relaxing cycle we have... N subject too... Hahaha

Lovely sushi dinner

I really had a nice sushi dinner though it's very tiring making all the sushi after coming back from the gym.. But the result... It's splendid.. Haha..

I miss you.
So much.
But i just dunno how to tell u. And i shouldn't be telling u, for my owns sake. Starting from the moment i fall, i knew that i should get up, because it is a NONO and impossible, that is why i never dare hope and dream about anything, but only trying to stop that feeling of mine.

Have u ever

Have u ever dream of something impossible?
Have u ever dare to hope that the impossible happen?
Have u ever try avoiding someone?
Have u ever try to deceive yourself?
Have u ever thought of wanting more?
Have u ever thought of just up in life?
Have u ever woke up in the middle of the night thinking of what to do tomorrow?
Have u ever thought of going back to the past?
Have u ever wonder and keep wondering in your thoughts??
Most of all, have u ever stop and think about others instead of yourself.

Other random post

Life is never been easy, it always and never will be easy. But u can make it simple, not complicated, and does not fill with any urge of vengeance. People fight, argue and creates lots of problem when they just can't let it go. When u have a peaceful mind, u know that all this doesn't matter at all, in the end, it does not only hurt u, but it also hurt those who truly care for u. U will never know how much tears has been shed by them, how suffer are they just because of your silly actions.

I will always remember what my aunt told me; stay away from conflicts and gossip, it does not bring u anything but leads u to a direction blindly. I dun understand what she means, but as i was demanding for things and start arguing with my parents when i was in high school, i was filled with anger and i can't think properly. Until one day, when i saw how angry my brother was when he wanted something so badly, and yet my mom said no. He stood up and slam the door of his room which i can hear it from downstairs, and i realize something. I saw how heart broken is my mom's look, and my whole mind is like starting to work. I know, if my brother would listen to her, things might not turn out this way, my mom wouldn't be sad, my brother on the other hand can work out things right, and be more understanding, as there is always an alternative. This argument doesn't bring anything but lead to a route of sadness.

After that, i learn to control myself to never let anger control me, by telling myself, it will only lead me to a blind direction, but not a clear one which i may have a better option and choices for what is happening next. And i try using this concept of mine to apply it in my everyday life, so that i know, things can be simple and nothing bad could happen as i wouldn't involve myself to a problem which i created out of my foolishness. For that, i think i literally understands what my aunt was trying to tell me. If u get yourself involve in a conflict, try to solve it or never involve in it from the very beginning; never gossip as you might get influence and invading others privacy and thus sometimes u tend to think of that person as what is describe from what u heard and begin treating them badly even if u dun even know well about that person, and this, well, blindly leads u to a direction of conflict for no reason as u will stand for something that u dun have any prove but just base on what u heard. That is just plainly blind.

I understand that people have emotions that they can't control, so do i. That's why i always look for someone whom i trust to talk to when things gone so crazy for me. I need a guidance to help me, so that i can think clearly. The bible is a very good guidance, but i know i couldn't be bother reading it as i m really truly awfully a lazy girl. But, i will try to read it, as it really is a book of knowledge to me. =)

A Grilled day

Its the day, today is labor day and its also the day which i talked about in my previous post about the BBQ thingy that was organize by my dear friend, Siewkheng ( as she was the one who told me, correct me if i m wrong... =p )
First thing first, we do the marination over night so that it taste great when it was grilled under the super hot charcoal. The food taste delicious, as u can taste the grilled meats is chewy and juicy, yum yum... so as the grilled broccoli and shashlik... a little to comfort ourselves for being healthy as it's a balance diet where we have meat and vegetables so as seafood, but the fact is we are so unhealthy, AT ALL... hahaha...
Unfortunately, the weather is not good :( it was raining, and we were all BBQ-ing in the rain, for like a few minutes ( dun ask me why, because rain here comes and go very fast today )... and it was somehow a heavy rain....LOL which we are BBQ-ing in the condition, from DRY to WET, WET to DRY... pathetic, yet, it was cool :) As it leaves us memories that we spend our time together here as a student of medicine that studies overseas in Russia and also as a bunch of friends spending time together and taking a day off... =)
And last but never least, happy holiday for tomorrow, as i dun have class on Monday... hehehe

Dear blog,

Dear blog of mine, i think its time for some updates here. Seriously, u do need some updates, and i have been reading some other blogs and found out that i m so far behind. Blogging is something that i use to remember stuff and share with friends, but before now, i leave it to die for like almost a year.
Well, i have nothing in my mind to share right now, but i will update u soon... Hopefully...
Oh, wait wait wait, i am kinda excited as this coming Sunday will be BBQ day. Happy for me, a day outing again with my dear friends here in Russia. That's what usually done here during spring/summer when the weather is just nice. Hoho, cant wait for that....
Anyway, hopefully i will update u.. LOL... Till then... hehe