Untittle?? ( due to technical problem ) =p

Its funny when i found myself crapping most of the time, and i know that it would lead others for their judging about my abilities and so on the bla bla bla thingy. At first i do mind about it, however later, i seem to ignore about it because they are not me and they do not understand and know me. I admit that sometimes i maybe an open book and easily read out everything in my expression, but deep inside how well do u know me? Well, the answer is; it takes time to find out more about me.

Nearly six months i spent my time here in Penang's mainland, Bertam, Kepala Batas, taking my pre-med course. For me, many things happen in between and i really learnt lots of different lesson and gain a little bit by bit experience in everything, even small small things that is usually not so important for others, but it is important for me. In this no entertainment place, where you need to be creative and find your own entertainment, you will be amuse by how creative you are in this village side of the world. However, i still prefer the life in Kuching city, that is far better than this place ( Bertam, Kepala Batas ).

Thinking of it in another way round, i found that because of this little place, i meet the people that i will be spending my next six year with in the future, if there is nothing coming up in between, again. I know i am so selfish and only think of myself more than others, but i do really really hope that we can spend our time together, i mean most of it, as course mates, good study partners and last but not least, FRIENDS. Especially the first Christmas we are going to spend in Russia during the white, cold winter day.

Sometimes i feel like giving up, losing my motivation to go on just because i don't know how to handle my own problem. Yet, somehow in my deepest thoughts, it tells me that i am going to regret if i give up this little dream of mine and never give it a " do my best " in it, until i really really can't do it. I will not use the term try my best because i am just trying instead of doing it. So right now, i am doing the best i can to crop with the obstacle i meet in my life. If i can't get through it how am i suppose to be strong mentally in the future as it will not be easy and fill with many unexpected things which may not be favourable to me.

And yes, i need more exposure to things and learn more about this society nowadays. The result may not be as well as expected but the process is indeed the thing that i will learn. You can't deny for learning something in it. Nothing in this world is perfect, and the imperfect side of this world is the things that gives an add in humans interesting life story because not everyone have the same journey of their life, and each and everyone is the author of their own life; where you get to pick your own story.

I've been repeating the same thing all over again, and again; feels like giving up and know that i will regret it. I guess that is humans nature whether or not your determination is strong or do you have what it takes to carry on.

Here in my college life, it is really so different from my high school life. That is the change, my life growing process; from immature to mature, but i really doubt about it because my friends said that i am so childish. Think of the positive side, at least they never said that i am so babyish. And yes, they did not say that. Glad to hear it, but even if they do say it, i wouldn't mind about it because i will change as i grow up. We will see how long this word ( childish ) last on me. Muahahaha... ( to be continue )

Nevertheless, i am going back to Kuching nearly every month. So, my dear friends in Kuching, its normal for u guys to see me AGAIN every month for this year only. For next year, well, i am not so sure about it. We 'll see about that if i manage to past my examination right here, or else u guys will be annoyed by me, ur 'little angel' , again... hahaha... =p On the bright side, i can be with my family and stay at home, where i will be treated like a princess in my home, and fill my tummy with lots of chef recommended culinary ( my mum's cooking ). Yea, continue being mum and dad 's little girl ( i know i will always be ^u^) Hahaha...'''

Speaking of angels, i suddenly thought of Angels and Demons, the movie i watched when i last went back to Kuching. Angels = Yienhua's dog, which is white in colour. And that she told me to get myself a black dog with the name Demon. Sweat right. Then, before i took the flight to Penang, i was looking through the birthday presents that i had received and saw the black dog which i thought it was a teddy bear when i open it during my secondary 2 birthday. And that's it, i already have a 'pet dog' ( which is actually a soft toy ), named Demon... hahaha... =='''

Where was i again? i guess i was lost in what am i going to write in this post, because finally i can sign into my account due to the lousy wireless connection here in my hostel. Believe it or not, they block mostly every website. How are we suppose to online ? I can't even sign in my msn when i m here in my hostel. X_X

Well, i don't wish to blame the college, or else this post will be 'polluted' with lots of dissatisfaction.

Guess i will stop here right now, till then to be continue...