Each and everyday i feel like i am getting worst and did not know what to do. Each and every time i am getting better at hiding it safe in the little drawer of my heart and lock it tightly and unleash it when i am struggling. I do not know how i feel right now, but i do know that i am so pathetic right this moment. I felt guilty when i felt like i hurt someone; mind what others think about me; confuse when things went complicated; lost when i have no direction; and sorry when i have make a mistake. I would not realise what i have done and what i just did to others.
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Today, everything seems so wrong for me. It is another usual day, cloudy and seems like its going to rain. And tonight, i will be on my own as my friend, Serene is not going to be with me in the same room again. Well, she is leaving, i mean going back to Kuching, as she is more into pharmacy. Yesterday night was fun, we all had dinner at Noodle Station and bought slices of cakes of different flavour and combined it as a farewell for Serene. Later that, we went back to our hostel and played "truth or dare" till 2.00 a.m. in the morning. It was a night to remember for it was a farewell party for Serene. I am worst when to express my feelings. Lots of thing is in my mind and i do not know what to say. All i know was that i am so lost and did not know what to say to her. It is better that way because i tend to be so clam and be numb as it was like the day when i first came to Penang where i left the family and friends, though it is very very different. Although there were many things happened lately between us, i still could not believe that our moments of together ends right here. Maybe in the future, we will meet again. Till then goodbye and good luck.
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Things are so complicated right now. It is the inner war of myself. There is a part of me wishes to go home and left all the things behind because i really felt sick and sad when i was remind of the issues which arises, which is i maybe will neglected my family. But deep inside i knew that i will regret if this is the reason why i abandon my ambition. So i told mum, and she understands well and gave me the right medicine which i needed so badly from her. Mum told me to stay strong and always pray to God. She even told me this, "it is how you manage your own time. Mommy and daddy will understand that its your responsible. We raise you up, but we are not always there to be with you throughtout your journey in your life. We play our role as parents and support you in all ways." The next thing was, i m crying while i was talking with my mum through the phone. That was when i walked back to hostel in the rainny day in the dark night without taking my umbrella along with me.
........................................................................................................................................................................
Recently, i really cannot be very positive. The other side of me is still attacking the positive side of mine. When will this war ends? I don't really know. I do really need some advises right now and to strenghten myself. Untill this war ends, so does my silent tears stops, and my sunny day would be back again.
........................................................................................................................................................................
Today, everything seems so wrong for me. It is another usual day, cloudy and seems like its going to rain. And tonight, i will be on my own as my friend, Serene is not going to be with me in the same room again. Well, she is leaving, i mean going back to Kuching, as she is more into pharmacy. Yesterday night was fun, we all had dinner at Noodle Station and bought slices of cakes of different flavour and combined it as a farewell for Serene. Later that, we went back to our hostel and played "truth or dare" till 2.00 a.m. in the morning. It was a night to remember for it was a farewell party for Serene. I am worst when to express my feelings. Lots of thing is in my mind and i do not know what to say. All i know was that i am so lost and did not know what to say to her. It is better that way because i tend to be so clam and be numb as it was like the day when i first came to Penang where i left the family and friends, though it is very very different. Although there were many things happened lately between us, i still could not believe that our moments of together ends right here. Maybe in the future, we will meet again. Till then goodbye and good luck.
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Things are so complicated right now. It is the inner war of myself. There is a part of me wishes to go home and left all the things behind because i really felt sick and sad when i was remind of the issues which arises, which is i maybe will neglected my family. But deep inside i knew that i will regret if this is the reason why i abandon my ambition. So i told mum, and she understands well and gave me the right medicine which i needed so badly from her. Mum told me to stay strong and always pray to God. She even told me this, "it is how you manage your own time. Mommy and daddy will understand that its your responsible. We raise you up, but we are not always there to be with you throughtout your journey in your life. We play our role as parents and support you in all ways." The next thing was, i m crying while i was talking with my mum through the phone. That was when i walked back to hostel in the rainny day in the dark night without taking my umbrella along with me.
........................................................................................................................................................................
Recently, i really cannot be very positive. The other side of me is still attacking the positive side of mine. When will this war ends? I don't really know. I do really need some advises right now and to strenghten myself. Untill this war ends, so does my silent tears stops, and my sunny day would be back again.
1 comments:
hello......wish u happy birthday ^^
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