N0w

I expect too much, and now i knew that its what i get by putting just a lilttle effort in it. I cant put my blame on anyone or anything but myself for not doing all my best. I dunno how to do, what to do. I feel sad. yet i cant cry out loud, and i cant even laugh it out loud. I dunno what am i going to express but just being noisy and of course blogging here right now. Ahhh.. save me save me. I always have a sense that maybe this was not meant for me, yet i end up choosing this path because i wanted to and i believe that i can do it. But right now, somehow, it seems like, well, i've just made a wrong decision. While everyone is studying, i am like day dreaming. I guess all i must do is change this habit of mine.Maybe its time to try harder. But how?? Well, guess its time to work hard... stop doing things that waste my time.... but i cant seems to do that .... hmm.. shecdule...

However... maybe i am just too stupid to be here. I mean, i am not a clever student, and i don't seems to understand things easily. Right now, i am hesitating whether i choose the right path or not. I know i shouldn't be lossing my wheel power to this small things, after all the words that i heard which is more hurt than this, but i dunno why, right now, i am just toooo.... i dunno.... felt like giving up... but i think maybe its just because of this 2 row failure in a day, that's why. Maybe a fake smile really hurts a lot. Must find a way back.. find the positive things... and i know, things will be better... negative thoughts, i will not let u conquer me...