Complicated

Is life that complicated? Is that what people used when they have problems? or is that i m jst too young to understand? Everybody has their own secrets, and every secrets is untold. Some people is hard to read and understand, some people are jst too afraid to admit things. Well, i guess i m the kind that dont dare to admit things. I run away, and find lots of lots of excuses, and making myself busy, finding other things to do, to forget. Comparison, cant be made to compare people around, because no one can compare each other. The only thing is that, what do u want, what do u really really want in ur life. Its like when you are hungry, u will go to cook to fill up your tummy, with the kind of food that u like and prefer. But if u re on some special diet due to some crictism which hurts ur ego, pride, or any kind of feelings, u will try to control ur diet and sooner or later, it will hurt ur tummy, although the result is what u wanted in the end. U have just sacrificed ur own tummy, which causes it to have gastric. Is that worth it? Trying to cover everything up, yet u hurt urself, by saying u re protecting urself and preventing urself from getting hurt?? I know i shouldn't used food to describe, but well, thats how i can bring out what m i trying to express. Maybe this is just what i think, and maybe this is how i give excusesses to myself. Thats why, till now, i dont really know whether i am facing or avoiding all my problems that is around me. Guess that is why, i m always in lost in myself. Lol.

unkn0wn

Wow, when i was reading through my blog, i m really amaze of my moods. It swifts from this to that. *sweat* And, nevertherless, my blog is like in a total mess... somehow i got the feeling to delete the whole of this site. However, after several consideration, i have decided not to delete it because...... well, hope to laugh out loud when i re-read it again the next time. *lol* (main purpose, reduce stress and find something funny out of it.. haha''')

Now what, i don't even know why i compose this tittle about an unknown again. Maybe i am really too bored and got nothing to do? Well, i don't really have the answer because right now i may seems to be freee, but the coming seconds, minutes and hours i will be busy like crazy, till i may have to stay up late. Guess its not weird if the population of panda bear increases. *lol*

Well well welll, guess i will stop here.*sleepy, yawning* Would not want to be late to attend classs.. *dun feel like going*

toodlessss....

N0w

I expect too much, and now i knew that its what i get by putting just a lilttle effort in it. I cant put my blame on anyone or anything but myself for not doing all my best. I dunno how to do, what to do. I feel sad. yet i cant cry out loud, and i cant even laugh it out loud. I dunno what am i going to express but just being noisy and of course blogging here right now. Ahhh.. save me save me. I always have a sense that maybe this was not meant for me, yet i end up choosing this path because i wanted to and i believe that i can do it. But right now, somehow, it seems like, well, i've just made a wrong decision. While everyone is studying, i am like day dreaming. I guess all i must do is change this habit of mine.Maybe its time to try harder. But how?? Well, guess its time to work hard... stop doing things that waste my time.... but i cant seems to do that .... hmm.. shecdule...

However... maybe i am just too stupid to be here. I mean, i am not a clever student, and i don't seems to understand things easily. Right now, i am hesitating whether i choose the right path or not. I know i shouldn't be lossing my wheel power to this small things, after all the words that i heard which is more hurt than this, but i dunno why, right now, i am just toooo.... i dunno.... felt like giving up... but i think maybe its just because of this 2 row failure in a day, that's why. Maybe a fake smile really hurts a lot. Must find a way back.. find the positive things... and i know, things will be better... negative thoughts, i will not let u conquer me...

Internalllll....

Games of mine, is not fun anymore and i will just stop all the match making that i m playing all these while. I felt the tense and tiredness out of it. Nothing i can do about it, after feeling the guilt that runs within me. Its fun to see ur friends having their own partener and seeing others being together as a couple. But then i m wondering, if that is how couples are being together, then how does love come into that relationship? I have lots of question about this. To be honest, i think i don't really know the meaning of love, i mean i really don't know. How? And why does it happen, and how do u know u are in love? How how how how????? I really got lots of this question running in my head... But, i guess i ll just leave it behind because, i need to priortise my things. What is meant to be will be.

I believe that fate will lead the way. Guess that is the reason why, i dun feel like falling for anyone because there isnt a thing for me to fall for and its just too hard for me to find someone that i am willing to give in everything untill the right person came. Well, i guess i am the kind of person who seems so desprate for it, but deep inside i know that for me to be like the things that i dream of, its impossible. Really impossible. So that is why, it is just a dream, which are meant for sleeping.

Found it

For the past few weeks, i have lost myself. I dunno why, just felt lonely and sad, or maybe i was just homesick. I cant put a smile that comes within my heart. I had tried my very best to do it, in everything i can. But somehow, deep inside me, i was still very depressed, and felt being isolated. There was nothing much that i can say. Till, i heard something that i have lost for the past few weeks, received a gift that i was not meant for me to have it.

I m glad, happy, and content. When i m lost in the thick mist, someone pull me out, and lead me to my path. Honestly, i m very happy, happy with everything i have and lucky, lucky to have everyone who cares beside me. My life is not just about myself, but, its me with everyone i that i care.

9th September 2009

9th September 2009. It is indeed a one in a million chances of getting a date like this, so many people consider it as a lucky, or even a memorable day. As for me, i got no partner like i m in a relationship, so i celebrate it with one of my friend, SingNi. Lol. We went to the gym and exercise for abt an hour, later we walked to Kado and have some snacks. Think about it, we still get back all the fats after exercising. Lol. But , its ok, cz how are we going to get a chances like this again, with the date 09.09.09?? No, we cant, unless we are able to live till that... i doubt about it because, we will be like immortal....

Since its 09.09.09, we did get ourselves a present each, which is a pair of ear rings. Hence, when we are using it, well, it will lead us back to yesterday the things that we did to remember this day, especially the walking part, from Crown Tower to CHMS no.1 (sweating like hell).

Hmm, right now, i think i will be waiting for next year 10th October 2010 ( curious about what am i going to do or anything special happen better be a fun one.. lol ).

Life....

Sometimes, things would not be like what we think. Well, the only thing is be true to our self and knows that its the right thing to be done. Everything happened for a reason. This is what life is. U wouldn't walk on the path which everything is easy, instead u will encountered difficulties in your route.

In this route of life, u will see many people walking with you either they are here to help you or just simply pass by or they bring harm to u. But hey, this is the juncture that u will know who is your true friends. That's why, i believe that with real friends walking with you in this route, life is more interesting and fun even if u fall in the middle of the walk.

With your loves ones all besides you, this life route is content and blissful. This is the world greatest gift that we earn throughout our life journal, with an appreciate heart.