MixTUr3 E

What a relief after i history paper... since its a tough subject for me, sometimes i was thinking of giving up but i din have the courage to do so... especially wen i think of my parents, the reason i m in this world and after all this years i ve been to school and yet i gt nothing... by thinking of these, its enough for me to have the determination to stand for so long ... just because i dont want my school life to be for nothing... i mean in academic... nt a fail in my gred... hahaha...
Somehow i felt very exhausted recently... its not tat i burnt midinite oil or i overcome any problems... i din noe y i felt very sleepy...haizzz... TIRED... i m sick of this kind of feeling... though i like sleeping... hehehe...
Hmm, by the word problem, i suddenly think of the last relationship i m in..... it was i think a year already since we broke... haiz, tat was my first relationship tat i dunnoe how to describe... joy and pain and... etc... First i tot tat its going to last forever like the drama series in television...( watch too much korea movie)... without knowing tat nothing is perfect... we quarrrel, argue all the time and sometimes i was so tired abt it... but i tot its my problem the first time... thn i realise the problem does not lies all on me cz he gt jelous easily too... especially wen i talked with other guy... i mean why cant i??? since he can???? why i cant... its a bit weird ... sometimes maybe i was too serious abt things or and maybe i m not willing to to anything in this relationship maybe i was too self-centred... i think of myself first... Ya , that is my mistake... So i tried to change to fit in with him but somehow i fail to do so... the 2 year wen we were 2gather, the same thinng happen~~> we broke up every year and be togather again... but last year wen he said tat this relationship is over... i was vry sad at first cz y do we hv to been through this again??? But thn, i felt very relax and its a relief... cz i m relli tired of it, we cant work out like this... although everyone said tat we ll be 2gather again, somehow i dun fell like tat ... this time its for real and i dun wnt to gt involve in this hard to manage relationship tat we cant forgv and share well which lead to many miscomunication.... i m so exhausted...
Maybe he is still nt my Mr. Right, so tats y it does not work out... but, this relatonship somehow gave me a phobia... i m afraid tat my next relationship is ...XXXX....ahhhh... unless someone lead me out of this... though i like to daydreaming abt a prince , i m still afraid
。。。。初戀可以很美好同時也可以很可怕。。。。 I kind of like wat singnee said to me, "最美好的不是初戀而是能夠陪你走到永遠的那位," this is wat she told me ... thanks ....
Gosh, why m i writing this ... nevermind... i think tats wat i want to express....=.=